The In-Laws
In the scriptures we are taught that "a man should
leave his Father and Mother and cleave unto his wife." While this is
often our goal in a new marriage, the actual act can be somewhat difficult and
we might even be caught by surprise when we realize we are unintentionally
ignoring this counsel. Family rules and old habits can be very hard to
break. Calling our parents for advice or help may have become a way of
life for us and intentional, time consuming practice may be necessary for us to
change the way we do things.
In-law relationships don't have to be difficult. We can use the principles of nurturing fondness and admiration with our In-laws just as we can with our spouse. Showing love and kindness, serving them and praying for help to see them as Heavenly Father does can go along way in building healthy, happy relationships with them.
If we are open with our spouse about our habits and our
relationship goals, we can work together as a team to make positive changes and
assure a smooth transition to married life. By openly discussing each of
our families spoken and unspoken rules, we not only help our spouse feel more
comfortable, we also provide a better opportunity for our families to be
accepting. This helps us to avoid conflict within our marriage by given
us a glimpse of why our partner feels or thinks a certain way.
Misunderstandings and hurt feelings are often just a case of rules that have
not been clearly defined and shared. When we understand more about how
our spouse was raised and the rules that shaped their feelings and behaviors,
we are better able to create our own family plan that involves rules we are
both comfortable with.
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